Monthly Archives: August 2015

At This Point, the Bears Have to Sign Wes Welker

Here is the Chicago Bears current #1 Receiver:


Oh you don’t recognize the face of Montana product, Marc Mariani?  My guess is you DO recognize the only thing Marc Mariani is known for:

Wrong!  It’s not his trophy wife… it’s this:

GROSS. How disgusting is that?  At one point in his life, this dude had his foot connected to the rest of his leg ONLY by the power of cotton. Yuck.

Any way, look at this shit show of a depth chart:

Bears Puke Chart at WR

Just wow.  Any time your selection of WRs makes the Raiders go, “dude, what the fuck is going on over there?” you know you’re in some serious ass trouble.

Don’t give me that look.  I get that they’ve been decimated by injuries, but that’s why you have to dig up the card board cut-out of Wes Welker, give him a couple of Mollys and let him run!


Looking at that picture and not smiling is like being on the 49ers and not raping or DUI-ing.

There are some guys that should be on the street in the next week or two currently on NFL rosters (Hakeem Nicks and Justin Hunter come to mind) that could help you, so I get it if that’s the route they want to take.  All jokes aside, the Life-Size Fat Head of Wes Welker (only $99!) at least presumably knows Adam Gase’s playbook and would be another option for an offense that still has some decent pieces left.  Besides, Jay Cutler needs all the fucking help he can get.


The idea for The No Fun League happened a long time ago.  It was sparked before there was Monday morning discussions of your fantasy week at the water cooler.

In The No Fun League, we must constantly deal with all sorts of bullshit. On a day to day basis it ranges from domestic arrests, exploding ACL’s, nights out with LaGarrette Blount, and the Commish’s unilateral absurd punishments.


For those of us whos lives revolve around The No Fun League – regularly trolling various websites and blogs for hilarious commentary and priceless gif’s has become the daily norm. One website above all was the most reliable and comically creative on a daily basis.

Then suddenly and quietly during this offseason, a void was created when the site experienced a hostile takeover, mostly due to political correctness and the almighty dollar.

With the pseudo shutdown of the aforementioned website, we here at The No Fun League didn’t know what to do with ourselves. After conferring at TNFL round table we decided we must pick up the baton after it was dropped- scratch that, thrown down- by a website who cared more about money than the daily endless funny shit in THE NO FUN LEAGUE.

We do want to be clear: The No Fun League was conceptually born on December 20th, 2003.

It was not a particularly cold night for December. Actually it was quite a fine evening for December. The kind of night you could hang out on the back deck, drink, and watch the game through the window.  But of interesting note – it was a Saturday night –

Wait, professional football on a Saturday night? Awesome right?  Why is there not a game on every Saturday night? I don’t know. Ask Lord Rog.  But anyways, we were not prepared for what would happen during this game.

During said game, you probably didn’t give a rats ass about either team playing. If you cared about this game in a pre-fantasy era – you were from New England or New York.  If you don’t remember, don’t worry.   And for those of you who were appropriately adhering to rule #228 of TNFL, you have a legitimate excuse.

Quick note: Rule #228 of TNFL- When a reporter is speaking or performing an interview – it is an official cue that you have 30 seconds to go take a piss or grab a cold one.

Geez, get to the point already: At the 1:30 mark in the second quarter, a sideline reporter began speaking to a piss ass drunk Broadway Joe. Hilarity ensues.  Because of this priceless sideline interview, the most comprehensive website for everything comical of and about the NFL was created.

To jog your memory. During the mentioned interview- Ol Joe Willie proceeded to make one of the most classic ‘advances’ on live TV. It was the kind of epically bad decision you’ve made in front of a bunch of co-workers while drunk as hell. ……….You remember? It was right after you downed seven Jager bombs in twenty minutes at the Christmas party. Then you decided to muster up the courage to go talk to Kristen from accounting. That moment of courage earned you a nice little trip down to HR.

All of the sudden, just like your job…Our favorite website was taken away.  No more RobotsFightingDinosaurs. No more Captain Caveman, no more Christmas Ape. All we were left with was The No Fun League.

I think it’s a worthwhile disclaimer to say:

This website,, would never have been made had it not been for striping away our favorite commentators.

We hope you enjoy whatever this is. We are working really hard to come up with great ideas that keep you coming back and keep you laughing harder than watching Tiger miss a two foot putt. What we can promise to you is that we will grind harder than Gruden.  We don’t have Herm at our side, but we will put forth our best effort. And if you don’t like it, you can let us know, we have less feelings than Peyton’s fingers or Geno’s face.

Hey- at least it’s not as bad as watching the Jaguars……

…….because your home team is blacked out.



Josh McCown Absolutely Can’t Start, Even for the Browns

Josh McCown Sucks.  I mean, just look at this shit:

That’s 4 Bills Players around 1 Browns Player.

Don’t get me wrong — I know what you’re thinking!  Manziel sucks too!

I agree with you 100%.  The Browns are stuck somewhere between a rock and a hard dick. When faced with choosing 2 bad players, you ALWAYS take the one further to the right on the Fun/Bad continuum (See Below, with Jay Cutler added as a reference point — slightly better but even less fun than McCown).

Josh McCown and Johnny Manziel on the Fun-Bad Continuum

Here’s another clip (Start at 40 seconds for his second terrible pick)… and these don’t even show how many times he threw into quadruple coverage and it simply got batted down.  McCown is coming from throwing to a basketball team at his last two stops and looks like he’s still in that mode.  Hawkins may have the coolest agility ladder videos on the internet but he is 5’9″ bro.  Relax.

So Browns: do the significantly more fun thing and start Johnny Manziel so we can all look forward to watching him run around in circles and (hopefully!) bring back the “gimmie that money” celebration by week 6.

"Fuck You, Josh McCown You Suck" - Johnny Football